Wednesday, 07 May 2008

• Its over.

  Tuesday, 6th May 2008
  
  
  Mum; the one who crushed my tears
  
  
  
  
  I've been crying like mad about this the whole day really.
  I just wonder what went wrong. He made me wait for a month now, and our anniversary was just last week.
  And the embarrassing part is? I actually tried to talk to him about this.
  I really wanted things to work between us. But no, he never gave me that chance.
  
  
  
  Well, like I always do. The first babe I'd ever call to cry my eyes out on, was always Kelly.
  I felt stupid crying really, cause among all of them, she was the one who told me I should have ended it earlier on.
  But I thank God that she was still there to listen.
  Right after her, was Sir Joel. He was busy at first, but then again he spared time just to listen to my sobbing.
  Hehhh. Got into the tuition centre and my face was so darn red. Decided to go to the other
  classroom and called Farhan up. Later I wanted to call JLO. But instead we text-ed.
  Hehhhh. You'll never wanna know what he said. Intimidating really.
  I just couldn't stop thinking about this.
  But then again, I still concentrated. Seeing exams were just next week.
  
  
  
  Got back home and asked mum if we could 'talk'. She understood me well.
  And out they came; my tears.
  They just ran down as if I've lost self control. And mum was there to hug me, and shared experiences of her own.
  I felt so fortunate really. She's been through heck loads more than I ever had, and I rarely see her tears fall.
  She told me since its like that, why not cancel the trip to Singapore?
  As much as I want to since its for the best, but, that urge is still there.
  The urge of wanting to see him again.
  You had no idea how excited I was. Having to wait for 2 months just so that I could see him again.
  Everything seem so fine.
  I knew there was something wrong ever since I asked if we were still ok.
  And even if he assured me we were fine, I just knew there was something wrong.
  
  
  
  Wednesday, 7th May 2008
  
  
  
  Eu-Jane; the babe who gave me strength
  
  
  
  
  Early morning in school. Yes, I told Eu-Jane.
   The first thing she noticed was my expression when I came up to her. Though she didn't know why.
  We were stuck talking about it for awhile. Even she called him a jerk.
  Got into class, never saying a word. Just did record duties and on with my homework.
  After break, thats when I decided to see Puan Shirley
  (now that she's under guidance till she becomes full time in counselling.
   And no, I had no guts to talk about this to Puan Tan )
  We were in the room for awhile. I felt so stiff at first really. But I was more comfortable to share it with
  Puan Shirley cause I KNEW she wouldn't go to conclusion saying  "You're too young for this!"
  But slowly I began to pour it all out. And thats when I started to fall.
  Like others, she picked me up. And as usual she told me its not the end of the world.
  But unlike other teachers, she roughly told me this,
  "You have all the time to look for that special someone. And when you really do, thats when your heart knows."
  And of course, she ended the time by advising me to take it as a learning experience.
  Goshhhh, I really am comfy with her
  
  
  When I got back to class I handed my permission slip to Puan Norhana for being excused during her period.
  Sat in and just started minding my own business.
  Later on Melissa found out about it (she'd find out sooner or later) and asked for details.
  
  
  Well I had more reminders about the matter when I went for BM tuition.
  OBVIOUSLY I didn't tell En. Zulkifi that it was over. And when he reminded me about Singapore & Myanmar
  I was like RARRRRRRRRRRRWWWWW. Then I explained why.
  *laughs*
  Overall, it was seriously, a depressing day.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  He caused my misery,
  Catarina
  

  
  

  • 10:59 AM
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